


All that glitters is worth money

by JustSagan



Category: Courage the Cowardly Dog, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Battle, Fights, Guns, I'm Bad At Tagging, Money, Self-Defense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 22:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11633466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSagan/pseuds/JustSagan
Summary: Eustace gets rich!





	All that glitters is worth money

It was a normal day for Eustace. Courage and Muriel were off at the store grabbing food. So Eustace was reading his paper, all by himself. However things were about to take an unexpected turn.

"Ehh… Nothing new, why do I even buy the… What's heh?"

Eustace was cut off by the sound of someone knocking on the door. Eustace decided to get up, and see who decided to bother him. As Eustace opened the door, he saw five short red girls who all had afros.

"I am Ruby80085, and we are here to investigate this living establishment for any rogue gems… Now let us in."

The Rubys all prepared to walk in, but Eustace was having none of it.

"Not interested!" Eustace said as he slammed the door on them.

As Eustace then went to sit back down, the Rubies broke down the door.

"Hey! You're paying for that!" Eustace screamed at the Rubies.

"Shut your mouth human! Now tell us where you're harboring the Gem!" Ruby80085 said as she grabbed Eustace by his shirt, and pulled him down to her level.

"I said, i'm not interested!" Eustace then grabbed the Ruby by her neck, and then choke slammed her. Eustace then retreated to the kitchen while the Rubies helped their Ruby up.

"Grrr… Get him!" Said Ruby80085 as she recovered from the slam.

The other Rubies then charged into the kitchen with intent to kill. However when they got in the kitchen, they saw that Eustace was holding an AK-47.

"Stupid girls!" Eustace then shot at the Rubies.

He managed to hit two of them, while the other two retreated back to Ruby80085. The two he hit poofed into their gems, and he took notice of this.

"Rubies? I'm going to be rich!" Eustace did his happy dance, and prepared to take out the other three.

Eustace then walked out to the living room to see the other Rubies had ran outside. Eustace then went outside to confront the the Rubies.

"He then shot two of the Rubies and… Oh no!" The Rubies noticed that Eustace had walked out of the house.

"Quick Ruby80085! Call back up!" Ruby80085 then pulled out her communication device, and called for help. However as she was talking to her commander, Eustace unloaded another round at the Rubies. This time he managed to poof all three of them.

"Ha ha! I'm going to be rich! Rich I tell… What's heh?" Eustace stopped his celebration when he noticed a ship coming in for a landing. Eustace knew that his AK-47 would not be enough for what was to come next. So he ran back into his house.

The gem ship landed, and a bunch of Rubies ran out of it. As they grouped around the three poofed Ruby gems, two Jaspers walked out of the ship. They walked up to the Rubies, and they seemed angry.

"So you're telling me that a human did this to them!?" One of the Jaspers said screaming at the Rubies.

"Yes but…" The Ruby was to scared to talk.

"I don't care what you have to say… Just go kill that human."

The Rubies obeyed, and charged the house. However as they charged at the house, Eustace walked out holding two heavy machine guns.

"The more you bring, the more money I make!" Eustace said as he began to shoot at the Rubies.

The Rubies tried to fight through the bullets, but they stood no chance. the Rubies poofed until there were none left.

"Worthless… Let's get him!" The Jasper was about to charge at Eustace, but the other Jasper stopped her.

"Wait, if we charge at him, he will just kill us… We might have to fuse."

The Jaspers agreed, and they began to do their fusion dance. This confused Eustace, but then the Jaspers fused into a giant Jasper.

"It's over human! You stand no chance!"

The giant Jasper then charged at Eustace, but Eustace wasn't scared.

"You think that you scare me?" Eustace said with no fear in his tone.

Eustace then lifted his hand in the air, and then lightning struck his hand, leaving behind a sword.

Eustace then ran at the Jasper with his sword, jumped in the air, and stabbed her head. This of course instantly poofed the giant Jasper, and Eustace landed back on the ground.

Eustace stood there in victory, looking around at all the gems.

"Yes! I'm going to be rich!"

Eustace then went into his house, grabbed a bag, and began to pick up all the gems. As Eustace picked up the last gem, he thought of something.

"Hmm… I wonder who I could sell these gems to." As Eustace was thinking, a mysterious stranger walked up to him.

"I'll take those gems off your hands." Said the mysterious stranger.

"Who are you, and what's your offer?"

"My name is of no concern… And this is my offer." The stranger then pulled out a bag full of money.

"Deal!" Eustace then took the money, and happily walked back into his house.

The mysterious stranger then looked at his newly acquired gems with a smile on his face.

"Don't worry, when you all regain your physical forms I will teach you all about your new jobs… At my Brothel/Strip Club."

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY ENDING


End file.
